Having a good day often depends on which side of the bed you rise from. Starting one’s morning with an attitude of gratitude generally produces better results than approaching events with a negative bias. Launching one’s activities under a cloud of fear, anxiety, or hopelessness can become as much of a self-fulfilling prophecy as its opposite. In other words, every day we have a choice of how we set the direction of our plans, chores, and desires. We can interpret what comes into our path through the lens we choose.
In my younger years I began most days with trepidation. When things were challenging, I enjoyed playing the role of victim. It was easy to predict that I’d fall short in whatever I tried to do. Invariably, any setback was a validation that I was no good and deserved it. As a child I had grown used to not having my needs met and learned from my parents that frustrations and disappointments were inevitable. Suffering and complaining were necessary to cope with the grim realities of life. I entered adulthood perpetuating these sorry expectations. Even when things turned out well, I waited for the other shoe to drop. Good news was never meant to last. The ultimate outcome was usually one of letdown and feeling of failure.
Through therapy, spiritual study, and commitment to personal recovery I’ve changed my point of view. When my glass is half full, I look to the part that is full instead of the part that is empty. I am aware that I can paint anything that I have done or said brighter or darker. Yesterday may have gone better, but it could also have been worse. At any juncture I can choose to give myself a “thumbs up” or a “thumbs down,” be harshly judgmental or patiently supportive. These days, I practice dropping the strongly condemning voices of my upbringing and focus instead on my potential and good qualities.
Not that I don’t make mistakes and need to come to grips with each day’s learning curve. But when I forgive my shortcomings I can look at the overall picture and give myself the approval that I seldom got from others in my past. Before I get out of bed in the morning, I try to be thankful for the roof over my head, the food in my pantry, the finances I have to pay for my needs, and how fortunate I am to have relationships and friendships in my life. It is far better to start each day appreciating what I already have than feeling deprived, envious, and resentful at what is missing. When it comes to being happy, a little gratitude goes a long way.
DAVID CAT COHEN In Recovery blogs 