dcatcohen

Own Your Disease, Don’t Deny It

One of the most common reactions to receiving a terminal diagnosis is to deny it. The lab test was wrong, the doctor is mistaken, somebody else’s chart got mixed up with yours. One day you’re living to the full and the next your very existence is going to be taken away. Whether your doctor saysContinue reading “Own Your Disease, Don’t Deny It”

It’s OK To Ask For Help

When we are in the throes of addiction we can get caught in perplexing conflict. On one hand, we know we need help, but on the other, we are afraid to ask for it. Overcome with guilt and shame, we resist making ourselves vulnerable and will do anything to keep from giving up control. Yet it isContinue reading “It’s OK To Ask For Help”

Recovery Is For Those Who Want It, Not Need It

I was participating in a group discussion about recovery and co-dependency when a woman suggested that recovery is for those who want it, not those who need it. This immediately rang true for me. We’d been exploring how many of us had become preoccupied with trying to improve someone else’s behavior, wishing and hoping they’d change toContinue reading “Recovery Is For Those Who Want It, Not Need It”

Victim, Denier, Escape Artist, or Fighter

After I was diagnosed with a terminal disease (HIV) in 1986 I went through a panoply of emotions. 30 years later I was told that I had another frightening condition, a tiny malignant neuroendocrine tumor on my pancreas. In both of these situations, it was like Pandora’s boxes had been opened and a horde of demons hadContinue reading “Victim, Denier, Escape Artist, or Fighter”

Smelling Today’s Roses, Not Yesterday’s Garbage

A yardstick that I use to measure my personal growth is to ask myself if I’m smelling today’s roses or yesterday’s garbage. In other words, how much of my life is spent in present tense rather than in the past. While today I’m never as present as much as I’d like, I’m making great strides in doingContinue reading “Smelling Today’s Roses, Not Yesterday’s Garbage”

Admitting Weakness Can Lead To Strength

An addict’s first recovery group meeting can be a frightening and humbling experience. It is often accompanied by pain and desperation. The prospect of admitting that one’s behavior patterns are out of control can seem daunting. No one wants to fess up to weaknesses in front of others. Even more scary is revealing this awful truth to oneself. However,Continue reading “Admitting Weakness Can Lead To Strength”

Replacing Regret With Resolve

How many times have you thought or uttered the words “I woulda, shoulda, coulda?” If we lived perfect lives, we’d get everything right the first time, be free from mistakes, and never have to clean up messes, personal or otherwise. I hate to dash anyone’s hopes, but the last time I looked, I was unable to findContinue reading “Replacing Regret With Resolve”

Seeing Light At The End Of The Tunnel

The past year and a half has been extremely challenging for most of us. Not only did we have to cope with a scary pandemic, stay at home lockdowns, social isolation, and an extended economic slowdown, there was been a chaotic political divide that further alienated us from many family members and friends. It wasContinue reading “Seeing Light At The End Of The Tunnel”

Practice Turning Mountains Into Molehills

12/20/20 One of the great rewards of investing in personal growth is the increasing ability to accept life on its own terms. For me, this has not always been the case. After being raised in a dysfunctional family where molehills were routinely blown up into mountains, acceptance was a foreign concept. Even my slightest mistakes were subject toContinue reading “Practice Turning Mountains Into Molehills”