One of the most common reactions to receiving a terminal diagnosis is to deny it. The lab test was wrong, the doctor is mistaken, somebody else’s chart got mixed up with yours. One day you’re living to the full and the next your very existence is going to be taken away. Whether your doctor says that you have several weeks, months, or years to live, it is natural to rebel against this news. When you refuse to accept your situation, you lose the ability to change your condition’s trajectory and potentially tragic outcome. Without confronting your illness and coming to terms with it, you diminish your chances of stopping its spread, managing its effects, and hopefully defeating it.
I know this first hand. More than three decades ago I was told that I had HIV/AIDS and needed to get my affairs in order. A long-time survivor, I’m still here. After writing a whole novel on this subject (The Longer Road Home), ironically, three years ago I was given a second serious diagnosis, a very slow-growing malignant neuroendocrine tumor. Once again, I needed to deal with the shock, the fear, and the reality of a life-threatening disease. However, because this was not my first rodeo, I‘ve had better tools to cope with this. Though surgery seemed the best option at the time, another doctor’s second opinion advised me to watch and wait. Currently, under this medical oncologist’s supervision we’re still watching and waiting.
Rather than overdramatizing my fate, by researching my options and making informed decisions I feel more empowered than merely following what my first doctor said. It’s been a lesson in power and limits like the serenity prayer — accepting my situation, yet having the courage to change what I can.
Years ago, I attended weekly workshops with Louise Hay where she encouraged us to own our disease, not run away from it. This was during the 1980s when tens of thousands of people with AIDS were getting ill and dying en masse. I was inspired by this amazing woman when she advocated taking charge of our disease using the power of our minds to direct energy and wellness to our bodies. She told us that we each deserved to be healed, to be well, that by changing our thoughts we could make an impact on our survival and recovery.
35 years later I’m still following her sage advice. I’ve balanced working with medical professionals and a minimum of appropriate drugs while incorporating holistic remedies, healing energies, and spiritual practices. Supporting this with healthy nutrition, exercise, and a moderate life style, I’ve been able to keep my diagnoses at bay. If you or anyone you know is dealing with a “terminal” condition, you or they can also follow her lead. Her bestselling book You Can Heal Your Life was a successful roadmap for me. This can work for you as well. Once you own your disease, you can begin turning it around.
(c) 2019/2021 David Cat Cohen
DAVID CAT COHEN In Recovery blogs 