An addict’s first recovery group meeting can be a frightening and humbling experience. It is often accompanied by pain and desperation. The prospect of admitting that one’s behavior patterns are out of control can seem daunting. No one wants to fess up to weaknesses in front of others. Even more scary is revealing this awful truth to oneself. However, the very act of recognizing one’s fallability ironically can be a pathway to a more powerful life.
The realization that you can’t control your self-destructive habits can sneak up on you gradually or suddenly hit like a ton of bricks. This is like waking up one day to see how dirty and disorganized part your home has become. You can’t find anything. There is no place where you feel comfortable and safe. When you’re disgusted with the piles of trash, the smell of rot and decay, and the imprisoning walls that have built barriers to your hopes and dreams, you need to take action to change this. Reaching for another fix, another substance or misbehavior will only dig your hole deeper. At some point, coming clean may be the only alternative to jail, insanity, or even death.
The good news in becoming aware of your weaknesses and failings is that this self-knowledge is the way out of your desperate situation. The power that you have delegated to those “can’t live without it” addictions is the same power that you can transform into self-improvement and personal growth. The incredible scheming mental energy that you’ve used to plan your next misbehavior or obtain your next substance can turn into focused resolve to resist these dark pitfalls and seek new pathways and better choices.
Many addicts promise themselves that they will stop using, but keep giving in to the repetitive habits they’ve accumulated. The longer they’ve spent using, the harder it may be to change. In addition to good intentions, it is necessary to reach out to others with similar goals. There are countless recovery and therapy groups that offer support and fellowship. Very few addicts can do this by themselves. It is the power of a group that makes it easier to lift up each individual. And whether or not one believes in God or Higher Power, it takes something or someone larger than ourselves to stay on track.
It has often been said that one’s greatest weakness can become one’s greatest strength. As a former addict with over 16 years of recovery, I can attest to this. It has become so in my life. It can in yours as well.
C 2021 David Cat Cohen
DAVID CAT COHEN In Recovery blogs 